I like to think of myself in Versions and each version feels completely different from the other. Version One was raised in a home where high achievement and obedience were taught and expected. This version had the degrees, the corporate career and by all accounts, had reached a pinnacle of happiness and achievement. On the surface, Life should have been perfect but I was screaming inside. I felt like I was living at the edge of a cliff and no one could guess how much I wanted to just let go. I felt alone, isolated and forever in search of that great feeling. No one knew who I was at my core and I believed that no one wanted to either. I suffered from depression and like many, those dark days can be very dark. I was a shell inside and I felt like a fraud. I explained away my feelings by believing that I just hadn’t worked as hard as I should have.

 

When I left corporate in 2019 to become a certified professional life coach, I finally started to see what had happened within my life that I hadn’t been able to see before. My Life had been created on the values of others and reaching milestones that were not mine. The things that I valued and got excited about had no place in version one’s world. That needed to change. And here’s the good news: one cannot go through the aggressive training of becoming a certified coach without doing the work. It is impossible. Throughout my training, I learned about boundary setting and honouring those boundaries. I learned how to listen to myself and others – both the spoken and unspoken words. I started believing in who I am at my core. I learned how to set goals for myself and my life so that achievements made my heart happy.

 

This work is not a destination driven holiday but its beauty is found within the journey itself. We are forever evolving, learning, changing and how we live must also shift and morph into the next shape. The keys, I’ve uncovered, are found within the silence; in the moments of rest and reflection. It also lives outside of our comfort zones, amidst the discomfort and fear (which are really just tools to keep us small and safe). I believe that every person is able to find the next version of herself, when she’s ready. A version that has superpowers grounded in the dualities of one’s life – work vs life; achiever vs content; masculine vs feminine; soft vs hard. This life is like a dance of the dualities and when we learn how to move within the music of each, that is where great joy and happiness can be found.

 

You deserve to pursue what resonates with you, but it is something that many of us need to learn. Allow yourself permission to start.